GM's Retaliation
You may have seen this before as it's been widely circulated over the internet. Whether it's true or not, it's a great example of the risks of arrogant PR, and then in response, fantastic PR that's utterly in tune with the mood of the moment. Despite all this though, a supremely powerful supplier can, while they remain supremely powerful, re-write the rules of customer service.
At a computer expo (COMDEX) around 1997/98, Bill Gates of Microsoft was reported to have compared the computer and automotive industries, saying that "If General Motors had kept up with technology like the computer industry does, we would all be driving around in twenty-five dollar cars that go 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to this alleged outburst, GM are supposed to have issued a press release along the following lines, stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics -
1. For no reason at all your car would crash twice a day, and you would have not a single clue as to the cause.
2. Every time they re-painted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, re-start and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to re-start, in which case you would have to re-install the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT', but then you'd have to buy more seats.
6. (Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on five percent of the roads. The Macintosh car owners would have to buy expensive GM upgrades for their cars which would make them run much slower.)
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a 'general car default' warning light.
8. The car's new seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before activating.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to additionally purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (which would be a GM subsidiary) even though the customer neither needed nor wanted them.
12. Attempting to do without these extras would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by fifty percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation under the anti-trust laws by the Justice Department.
13. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as in the previous car.
14. And you'd need to press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
~author unknown